Never do this in Harare

Given Ncube
  • 09 Mar, 2025
  • 5 min read
Someone posted this on a reddit thread, I thought I'd share this here on Welodge. Here is a list of things that you should never do in Harare
  1.  If you’re called by guys at a corner for a free shoe cleaning/ polishing sample . Don’t go it’s not free and if you go your shoes will have different colors 
  2.  If you’re approached on the street and are offered a job in a supermarket or shop . Run as fast as you can or else you will lose your belongings 
  3.  If a guy with a foreign accent (usually Mozambican) says he needs counting his money and he promises to give you a mineral or a chemical to make money . Run , you will lose your money 
  4.  If someone infront of you and someone picks it up then offers to share the loot with you . Run away , you are the target 
  5.  If someone on the street asks to put their Simcard in your phone so as to make a call. This might be the last time you’re seeing your phone 
  6.  If you are walking on the street and someone bumps you or steps on you , and they apologize yet they keep holding you or stepping on you , better secure your pockets cos they have likely stolen from you already 
  7.  If you are coming out of a bar or public event and two guys come to you and tell you a story that doesn’t make sense or try to chat you up. Just know one is distracting you and the other is stealing from you 
  8.  If you go and fix your phone or electronic device. Never hand it to someone on the street and let them tell you to wait whilst they go check in the shop . Your phone will never come back 
  9.  Never do deals on the street. 
  10.  Never board mshika shika doing rounds in round e.g market square-4th. You will drop off without some belongings 
  11.  Never go for a sleep over at a girls house . The person paying rent will come unannounced 
  12.  If you’re offered job training(till operator, security guard, merchandiser) and you’re asked to pay a fee for training . Just know you aren’t going to get a job and your money will go 
  13.  Never make eye contact with a vendor , you will buy what you don’t want 
  14.  If you’re in a bar never let people see where you’re keeping your money 
  15.  If you’re traveling long distances buses don’t look confused and don’t board every bus . Board the one about to leave otherwise you will be on the bus for a long time with some seat warmers . 
  16.  If you know what’s good for you stay away from 3rd street, 6th , 8th, big apple,akiz,holiz, liz, queens 
  17.  Most young beautiful women in bars are not there for relationships, if you want to end up paying for her kids school fees, her nails , hair , rent then stay faaaaaaar away from them 
  18.  Women in harare have 4 birthdays per year so just remember the date she gave you is just to get you to spend on her 
  19.  If a harare guy tells you he loves you soon after meeting you . Run , it’s not you he wants , it’s what you have. 
  20.  A guy who switches cars often is likely a car dealer , the cars aren’t his . Don’t think you will get married and enjoy shotgun forever 
  21.  If you’re driving in the cbd don’t use your phone whilst at the traffic light . 
  22.  When you park in town, make sure your wheel is not on the white line, pay your parking fees, never park anywhere with yellow paint on the curb. 
  23.  Don’t move around town with an open bottle of alcohol 
  24.  Most alcohol and products in harare are fake so dont really fuss. 
  25.  Don’t lend friends or family money no matter how sad their story is . Or how great their business proposal sounds , unless you don’t want it back or you wanna ruin the relationship. 
  26.  Never indulge in a betting game in the cbd or worse, near the footbridge. If someone tries to convince you , that you will win , ask yourself what they are getting out of it If it seems too good to be true, it probably is. 
  27.  Don't take pictures, or linger around government and military buildings. Don’t run past the president’s house or stop to talk stories , avoid stop to talk stories or ask for directions at munhumutapa building .You will be made an example of, and you will tell others 
  28.  If you don't have a car, Don't board Private. Especially after dark ,It's getter to get into a stuffed combi than gamble with your life and belongings 
  29.  Stay away from bushy areas in major public parks like Harare gardens, at any time of the day. Don’t flaunt your phone there too, you may just be donating it to the street kid and street fathers fund 
  30.  Don't send your CV or certificates to anyone you don’t know whose email ends with @gmail.com, @outlook.com. @yahoo.com, @hotmail.com, etc. These aren't verified emails. Identity theft is real, and zim is a prime field for cyber crime as people are very relaxed 
  31.  Ladies, if you decide to go to town with a wig (frontal or glue-less), in areas more known to hang around street kids e.g footbridges. It will get snatched. If they fail they will grab your hat or necklace or drink 
  32.  If you someone offers to give you a haircut or do your hair , if you are desperate and don’t want to regret betraying your hairdresser then go . Otherwise don’t go 
  33.  Don’t send money via ecocash or any electronic platform to any house agents before meeting in person and actually entering the premises. As in inside the house not yard 
If you're looking for tenants, get in touch with Given Ncube on 078680107 and I will fill your vacancy

Until then, stay safe in Harare